Does age matter?



Today is my birthday and it has a big fat zero on the end of it. It’s one of those perceived milestones in our lives. People keep asking me how it ‘feels’ – as if I have the flu or have grown an extra arm.


These milestones can be tricky places for some of us. We can fall over the expectations growing there, planted by ourselves or others. They can grow, pushing their roots up to tangle around our feet along with the thorny Worry Weeds, our ears are assaulted by the coarse calls of the ugly Coulda-shoulda-woulda birds as they circle above us. No place for a picnic.


Take a moment to think about the expectations or emotions that we, as a society or individually, associated with these life events:

  • the ages 12, 18, 25, 30, 40, 60, 80;
  • moving into a house;
  • marriage or starting a family;
  • work and retirement.

Write two or three words to pin them down.


Life’s milestones don’t have to be uncomfortable places.

They do offer us places to pause and reflect on our journey so far, remember that it is a journey, and check to see we’re going in the desired direction. If we have uprooted those expectations they can’t trip us up and every good gardener likes to keep the weeds down. Just a tip: those Coulda-shoulda birds feed on the Worry Weeds so keeping those weeds down by planning and letting unnecessary hassles go really helps.



Thoughts from on top of the hill.



My birthday milestone has been a positive and peaceful place to sit and take in the view. I’d like to share what I can see with you.


To party, or not to party, that is the question…

Everyone is quick to tell you what they did and what you should do. Leaving all that aside (on the compost heap, preferably, so it doesn’t take root) I DID want a party.

However, it got me thinking as to why I wanted a party in the first place. I realised it was because I love friends and laughter and loud music! These things are good for my heart! If that’s the case then, I want to include them in my daily life to nourish and strengthen my heart, not wait for the odd occasion to come along while I hunger for them in the meantime.

Conclusion: I will enjoy a daily diet of things that are good for my heart.

What’s all the fuss about?

When we celebrate an occasion like a birthday or anniversary, what are we actually celebrating?

Leaving the ‘shoulds’ on the compost heap again, I discovered under the traditions and expectations that we are, in essence, celebrating Life: the length of their life, and all that they are in their life and what they mean to us. Again, why wait? Isn’t that something to appreciate and be grateful for every day?

Conclusion: Life, who I am, and those around me, are things to celebrate every day. I don’t want to lose sight of that amongst the mundane or during the storms that beset us at times.

Life doesn’t begin at…

It may have been a best-selling book, now entrenched as a phrase in modern culture, but it seems a little daft to me. Life begins at conception ( or birth, if you prefer). Doctors say that, not just me. To say that life begins at 40 seems to me to negate and devalue everything that has passed before. If it wasn’t life, what was it?

There were parts in my life when I was happy and parts when I was hurting. Parts when I was strong, when I was weak, when I made good decisions, and some not so good decisions.  Acts in the story that give me joy and scenes I am ashamed of. But is was my life! My life so far.

Every day brings new mercies and new challenges, it’s all part of the story. Even if the chapter I’m in doesn’t feel worthwhile at the moment, my story is rich and part of the epic story of Life.

Conclusion: Enjoy the journey and live in the present. The past has a weightiness, a deep value, but it has passed, and tomorrow isn’t here yet.

Age doesn’t matter…size matters!

I am having a birthday lunch this weekend. Just a lunch may seem a bit boring but as I shall be filling my everydays with laughter and music, it sounds just fine. I‘m looking forward to just relaxing and sharing time with my friends. Good Chinese food helps too.

In my mind’s eye, I can see the people I have invited. They are people who inspire me, who I enjoy, who make me laugh, who encourage me. They vary greatly in age because it isn’t age that matters – it’s size. The size of who they are matters to me: their hearts and minds,  the way they live and love, their vision and their capacity for life and people. It will be a beautiful variety of ages and characters. I don’t see their age, rather I see who they are. I am blessed to know them and have them see me in the same way.

My last conclusion is both a reflection and a challenge: Live here in the present, be present.

I’ll leave you with a quote from the excellent book ‘Captivating’ by John and Stasi Elderidge. It is both challenge and inspiration to me, it is my Carpe Diem.

More About Me

I’m a teacher, a writer, and a creative. This site is where I share and encourage others in the areas of our dreams, desires, and direction.To find out more about me and Permission To Launch, you can read my full bio.

To find out more about me and Permission To Launch, you can read my full bio.

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